Asked & Answered: Cognitive Distortions…

An answer to one of the questions asked on my previous post ASK APRIL …next week I will answer the other question asked in those comments…

I have a few chicks in my circle of influence (in my small group or mums group) who really struggle with anxiety and worry. We’re doing a series by elevation church on internal voices etc but as a complete optimist sometimes we’re on such different pages that I am concerned I’m not meeting their needs or seeing where they come from. One lovely young mum in particular goes to worst case scenario with everything in her life. She had a headache and a mole on her head the other day and immediately jumped to brain cancer fear. Her kids are always at the doctor for any minor fever or hint of sickness. She is constantly stressed and making herself sick. I want to be a loving, encouraging leader and also point her in the right direction for getting help and healing. Any advice?

It sounds like your friend has been practicing pessimism for a long time, and it maybe very difficult to help her change or ‘re-frame’ her thinking…Ultimately until she recognizes her need for help, and a desire to change she may not be receptive or aware of your trying to help…’Bringing the positive’ is a great start…Don’t be afraid to brooch the subject of counseling or seeing a doctor if she every says that she is tired of the way these thoughts make her feel…

Here are a few things I have found that are a perfect start…This first picture says “Before you speak THINK” It could also read THINK before you react…

Now, onto Cognitive Distortions…or what these graphics name THOUGHT RUTS…if you are having thoughts that are leading you down a unhealthy road you are sure to find them here…The only way to stop them is to be aware…and after you become where you do something to stop the thoughts from going far beyond the realm of possibility…

One of my clients who was from a very toxic family would call the cops for small things….there was always a crisis in her life, and there was always conflict in relationships…One day I said “you have to stop going from here to China when the situation is only here to Wal-Mart.” Walmart being less than a mile from her home…For some reason that clicked with her and she was able to ‘re-frame’ the way that she reacted to situations and make choices that were better for herself and her children…

As varied as our personalities are the ways in which we can stop ourselves from having unhealthy thoughts from going too far…

One, you can literally bite your tongue when you feel the urge, this can help you practice stopping yourself…

Two, you can think loudly, or say our loud STOP!!!!!! This stops your brain in mid-thought and gives you a couple of seconds to re-direct…

Third, you can keep a list of questions inspired from the above THINK that you can ask yourself (or you can give a safe person in your life permission to ask you) when you recognize you are in need of some re-focusing…my favorite questions are: Is the source reliable? Are there reasons that I might be over-reacting? (girls we know that there are days when this is the case) What is the evidence that this might be true? Can I wait 30 minutes and then re-evaluate the situation?

Click on the photos to get to the links…

I know I didn’t do a lot of writing on this, mostly because I am a big fan of not re-inventing the wheel…so if I can find something done much better than I could ever explain it then I want to point you in that direction…

I am CONTEMPLATING doing a REALLY short video later this week with more on this topic…

Carelessly,

April