Itching Continues…

I am still itching like crazy…it is all over, almost all day everyday and is slowly driving me insane…I have just had to cut my nails down as far as possible for the second time because I am making sores I’m scratching so much…the doctor had given me a prescription to help the itching and it didn’t really do much…I spent an hour this morning googling itching as a symptom of Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma (it is most commonly associated with Hodgkin’s disease, but is a B symptom of NHL)…let’s just say that I will not be convinced the cancer is not back until I get my CT scan on the 26th (with results at a doctors appointment the following week)…I’m trying really hard not to be paranoid…not to think the worst…and not to read into anything…but this itching is not being caused by anything…I don’t have a rash, I am not allergic to anything, and nothing in my life has changed to cause it…I had intense itching about a year before I was diagnosed and we never really figured out why…I now know it was probably an early symptom of the Lymphoma so it is hard not to go ‘there’…If I …Read more

Thoughts on Radiation…

awhile ago I shared my thoughts on remission, sitting here with my neck red and hurting, I think it is time to share my thoughts on radiation treatments… as the doctor said this afternoon, when I told him to be careful of my neck when he was examining me… “it isn’t a trip to Cancun is it?”…yep doc, you said it…you may leave sunburned but there is no ocean to swim… Let me elaborate…on Monday I was discharged from radiation, everyone was excited except me, I was so tired of going and had emotionally detached 3 sessions ago…the thing about radiation treatments are that the side-effects come slowly…they sneak up on you like a super secret ninja…about a week after starting my throat hurt so badly when I swallowed that I could not eat and lost 8lbs a couple of weeks ago and about 3lbs this week..we stopped treatment while my throat healed and then the skin around my neck started getting red…it got progressively worse until we are where we are now…my neck red, dry, scaly, and sensitive…have you ever had to scratch a sun burn? No? well let me tell you it hurts…the only treatment is to several …Read more

I got nuthin’

I have been Cranky for DAYS now and I’d like to be April again…I’m pretty sure that 60% of it is caused by being a women…(boys that read this blog skip the next few sentences) I started my period yesterday so I should be expecting better moods ANY time now…That time of the month is not so bad for me…it only lasts 3 days, and I don’t get cramps that are too terribly painful…HOWEVER, my period literally SUCKS THE LIFE out of me…and I am only being a little dramatic…the days before and during I am exhausted and could sleep all day, all day, all day…this of course only works on my weeks off…this week I just have to suck it up…I don’t like being Cranky…especially because I know I am being Cranky and then I find myself feeling bad AND being Cranky…I am sarcastic, short-tempered, and impatient…mostly I just try to be silent, that eliminates the likelihood of saying something I don’t really mean…I don’t like who I am when I am Cranky…I am usually not Cranky for this many days in a row and I am tired of it…I just took some extra Effexor, I am prescribed 150 …Read more

By the Light of the Tree…

I am tired but it is almost 5 in the morning and I am still up…I tried going to bed earlier…as I laid there frustrated and awake I decided I may as well get up and get some things on my ‘to do’ list done…I’ve gotten some thank you and congratulation cards written, as well as finding a better way to store my Christmas cards (I’ve already got them for next year, they are AMAZING, and were free) so they don’t get messed up…and now I am watching ‘The Mentalist’ on line and typing up this post…I am hoping to get a couple of book reviews up or at least started…I am still VERY tired…I didn’t take my normal medication to help me sleep because I thought I was tired enough but my body being tired doesn’t close off my mind now does it…mom and I are doing the Advent reading at church in the morning…she has informed me she wants to do the short parts at the beginning and end, I think that means I get to light the candles while she is reading the scripture part…I hope I can get the lighter on (there always seems to be a …Read more