cancer

Gifts…

Today I saw my oncologist so I took in the presents I had assembled…because of some great Hallmark coupons a few weeks ago I was able to get four bird ornaments…I gave them to the nursing staff, the front desk, the doctor, and the radiology staff…I also gave each section a bag of choc-O-late! and each individual person received a card I included in the card a copy of this note I wrote last night… This year… has been difficult… it has been stressful… it has been life-changing.. it has been informative… and it has been lonely… people can want to help…they can give you money…they can send you a card…but unless they have EXPERIENCED cancer themselves (and I don’t mean through a family member)…they do not have the capacity to understand how hard it is…they can’t understand what it does to you physically and mentally… you at the Cancer Center are the only ones who I felt really understood this roller-coaster ride I was on…I didn’t pay admission for the cancer amusement park, I didn’t want the tee-shirt from the gift shop, and I sure didn’t want to ride the rides…but I found myself there and found you to help me navigate… …Read more

Thanks, Thanks, Thanks be to God…

I choose to be Thankful for;#1. The ability to go to radiation…I may not like it, and I may not want to go, but I am blessed to have insurance (through the state) and have the ability to go…#2. The ability to get prescriptions when needed…I was given two prescriptions today, they were unexpected and one was not covered by Medicaid…it ended up only being 11 dollars instead of the normal 3 dollars which I know is WAY less than some people have to pay for their monthly prescriptions…so while I am not happy about having to get those prescriptions today…I am thankful that I had the money in my bank account to pay for them, and I am thankful for the help they will bring…Dr. R has decided to suspend my radiation treatments until at least Monday, because the pain I have swallowing is getting progressively worse…I just want to cry sometimes when I eat…pain is emotionally draining…She gave me a liquid pain medication, and a new mouth rinse/gargle to try and help numb it before eating (I am not sure it is going to work though, when I used it my tongue and lips were numb but not the base of my …Read more

Shake it Off…

radiation has been hard on my throat…I am only halfway done and it feel like there is a rock at the base of my throat and when I try to swallow or eat (even applesauce) it ranges from aching to it downright being painful…I have a prescription mix I’m supposed to gargle and swallow that helps a little, but it has been a little emotionally draining (not really the eating part, just the pain part…)please pray for me this week, that I can shake ‘it’ off and enjoy this week before Christmas… Mama4Real said…Hope you CAN shake it off… maybe you should get a shake weight… ha ha 🙂GothBarbie said…Those card holders turned out really great! You have a great talent – keep crafting!

Update…

Saw Dr. M Thursday…he said my blood work was looking good and decreased my steroids from 10mg to 5mg a day…I am ALMOST free of steroids for the first time in MONTHS! I’m just a little bit exciting about that…I talked to him about the statistics on reoccurrence, and he said there is a 40% chance of the cancer coming back, and with how aggressive mine was that percentage is increased…he also said that if it does come back it is usually within the first two years (even though they closely follow things for 5 years)…I’m glad to know that chances of it coming back…it helps me process things better…the more I know the better I feel…My first radiation appointment was not as bad as I thought it was going to be…and I have been able to rig the hospital gown so I am not having to lay there ALL exposed and stuff so that has been nice…Monday will be my 5th of 17 treatments and I am already tired of having to go there EVERY single stinking day…next week will be harder because I have to work every night and still get to radiation at 3:30 everyday…I am going …Read more