surgery

Today I had my follow up appointment with the ENT…he is recommending an outpatient surgery to remove a lympnode so that it can be tested.I have NEVER been under anesthesia, and it scares me…A LOT. When I was younger I can remember watching a 20/20 episode about people who had surgery but the anesthesia didn’t take so they were under enough not to be able to move…but not so deep that they didn’t feel pain…could you IMAGINE?…feeling all the pain of surgery but not being able to tell the doctor…So aside from my fears let me get to the nitty gritty of what the doctor told me…The CT scan showed numerous masses on both sides of my neck the left side obviously being the more prominentThe Chest X-Ray, was a bit unclear but showed something there that could be swollen lymph nodesThe first needle biopsies were of no consequence…other than to let me know that we are now needing to completely remove a lymph node. This surgery is scheduled for April 13th somewhere in the middle of the day (I think that we will spend a lot of the day waiting)As a side note he said something about it possibly being cat scratch fever but rules that out because my exposure to our cats is limited. From what I have read cat scratch fever would be treated with antibiotics and I have already been on those twice with no results so it is pretty clear that I do not have that.So to move beyond cat scratch fever, he feels that the symptoms and the action of the masses point toward lymphoma (cancer) he seemed pretty sure that is what he believes we will find.because of my age, the most likely the form of lymphoma I could have is called Hodgkin’s. Hodgkin’s accounts for less than 1% of all cancers. The other type of lymphoma is Non-Hodgkin’s which is most prevalent in people in their 60’s. The doctor said that the lymphoma is receptive to treatment and that if successful the masses in my neck would ‘melt’ down.In regards to the symptoms I’ve been having of…fever…difficulty swallowing…sensitive hearing…heaviness in chest, the doctor seemed to not be concerned…I would ask him to live with the difficulty swallowing and crappy fevers every night and just dismiss it…he did prescribe a steroid to help maybe with the swelling…so I am having high hopes I might get to feel GOOD for at least a week…here’s hoping!Of course when we got home mom when on the internet to web md to look up Hodgkin’s and non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma…the symptoms are basically the same, being:*Painless swelling of one or more lymph nodes, with no recently accompanying infection. (definitely have that one!) *Symptoms stemming from pressure of swollen lymph nodes on nearby organs or structures. These may include cough and shortness of breath, abdominal pain and swelling, Horner’s syndrome (a neurological problem affecting the face and eyes, due to damage to nerves in the neck), nerve pain, and leg swelling. (Yep…that too) *Fever, either persistent or alternating with periods of normal temperatures. (I have become the low fever queen) *Pain in lymph nodes after drinking alcohol. (don’t drink so I don’t know) *Drenching night sweats. (The past couple of months I have been complaining about how I all of a sudden started sweating under the blankets, because I don’t remember having that done before…) *Unintentional weight loss (more than 10% over six months) (I wish…but by appetite is actually different I don’t snack like at all anymore and like today I simply forgot to eat and by the time our appointment was over at 5:00 I was STARVING. *Bone pain. (?) *Increased susceptibility to infections. (always sick so…) *Total body itching. (?)So anyway there is what is going on. On April 13th I will have a lymph node removed to be tested for lymphoma then we will go from there. There were a lot of words like CT Scan of the chest (ka ching!) PET scan (ka ching ching!) ect…with the help of the doctor we are doing one thing at a time as it makes sense in needed things for the diagnosis.As I finish up this post I want to say that I am super tired so am sorry if some of it doesn’t make sense. Secondly I just want to thank everyone who is praying for me and loving me…those feelings of love are translating into peace and strength in my life…I was left feeling today that he pretty much thinks it is cancer…it is going to take a little while to sink in.