Today I had my follow up appointment with the ENT…he is recommending an outpatient surgery to remove a lympnode so that it can be tested.I have NEVER been under anesthesia, and it scares me…A LOT. When I was younger I can remember watching a 20/20 episode about people who had surgery but the anesthesia didn’t take so they were under enough not to be able to move…but not so deep that they didn’t feel pain…could you IMAGINE?…feeling all the pain of surgery but not being able to tell the doctor…So aside from my fears let me get to the nitty gritty of what the doctor told me…The CT scan showed numerous masses on both sides of my neck the left side obviously being the more prominentThe Chest X-Ray, was a bit unclear but showed something there that could be swollen lymph nodesThe first needle biopsies were of no consequence…other than to let me know that we are now needing to completely remove a lymph node. This surgery is scheduled for April 13th somewhere in the middle of the day (I think that we will spend a lot of the day waiting)As a side note he said something about it possibly …Read more

Is it fair…

Is it fair… that I am already upset with my doctor and the appointment isn’t even until Wednesday. I just know that I am not going to get the kind of answers I want. If I’m sick then I want to BE SICK, this prolonged state of just feeling like crap is, after almost three months, crushing me. While I feel he is knowledgeable the last visit lacked any kind of knowing where we go from here…I mean regardless of what is going on I am just supposed to live with a fever every night, difficulty swallowing, crazy sensitive hearing and chest pain? My neck has been tender for the past four days or so (it feels like it is moving up my head and feels really numb like it is asleep or like I got a shot to make it numb). I’m getting kinda crabby. Thus the purpose of this post. I’m also really achy tired and get out of breath a lot faster than normal (which has been a bit scary). When I get off work in an hour I plan on letting myself sleep as much as I want without worrying about whether it will keep me …Read more

The Little I Know

Well, the waiting continues…for a while so sorry I can’t really give much news.After consulting with the doctor that read my pathology report from the biopsy Dr. Moss is most likely going to recommend another (more invasive) biopsy. The sample wasn’t large enough to get a definitive idea of what might be happening. I only spoke to the nurse and there was not much that she could tell me. I have to wait for my appointment on the 17th to talk to the doctor and get my questions answered. I thought I would be getting a call from the doctor so that I could ask questions and was a bit annoyed at how vague the information was I received.When I asked about the results of the CT Scan and X-Ray, she just read a bit of technical jargon…of which I understood “Cyst on left thyroid”. I am assuming they are not too concerned or things would be moving a bit quicker.Emotionally: I’m doing well, if anything waiting just wears you down to where you don’t much care anymore. If no one knowledgeable has a sense of urgency then why should I? eh?Physically: I feel better than I have in a …Read more

Bills before Results

Yesterday’s mail greeted me with these… Yep, those are the bills for for CT Scan and Chest x-ray. Funny how those made it to me before the results of said tests. Mom says the ease with which I have been billed is because of my lack of insurance. I can see that. As I see it, there are two (possibly three) ways I could react to these gifts in the mail.#1. I can get upset, overwhelmed, and crawl under the covers in my comfy bed with Little Bit and cry…cry the kind of ugly snot filled cry of a money strapped girl that until last week was comfortable being broke. Cause broke meant making it. Broke meant healthy don’t owe nobody don’t wanna owe nobody. Now broke means hmm…do I send the doctors (plural), the radiologist, the CT Scan machine this 40 bucks I have right here, or do I chuck it all, stop breaking the law and get my license plate renewed like a good little girl. (I don’t say this to complain, just a fact of life right now.)#2. Face them, introduce myself, tell them to get comfortable, and make a plan, however small and commit?Or#3. My personal favorite…slip the bills into …Read more