McDonalds Ramblings…

Hey!I am just hanging out at McDonald’s (with a big group of old men) killing some time before my MUGA heart scan at 9…I’m hoping to be home by 10 (since I am the first appointment of the day) and in bed by 11…I did not sleep well yesterday…I’ve already been to the cancer center to get some blood work done, and will be interested in what my red blood cell count is this week…Friday I get my 7th chemo treatment…this is a week I work so it is going to be a LONG day…no one wants to hang out at the hospital for 8 hours after having worked all night…it is hard to sleep sitting in the chairs no matter how comfortable they are and no matter how tired you are…This little box of apple juice just doesn’t have enough in it…I might have to grab another one on the way outta here back to the hospital…What do having a tight jaw and a to do list tell you about me? I’m stressed…my stress usually comes out in the form of my trying to have control over something…so I make lists…LONG ago stress effected me physically, I would get stomach aches…now I just want to clean and get things accomplished…between getting blood work and McDonalds I vacuumed my car and I am getting ready to head to the post office before my scan…My brother got fired from his job last week…he did some stupid prank and got caught…Yesterday morning when I got home from work at 7:30 am he was sitting in the in the living room playing on the computer and I got so mad…the mornings after I get off work before I go to bed are MY time to be alone and unwind…and why the heck is he up so early in the morning? I’m upset (no, I’m not upset, I’m angry) with him for getting fired so most anything he does is going to irritate me for a while…We can’t afford for him to not be working…it is not fair to mom…and I don’t see him getting a job anytime soon (there isn’t much out there)…it just came on a bad week, when I find out I have to get two more chemos which means a week less of work for me (spread over the next couple of months)…All I know is he better start helping more around the house if he is not going to be working…and he should do it without being asked (which he won’t)…I’m not delusional…Whining over…maybe getting it out will get me to acceptance faster…My brother is the ONLY one that can make me THIS angry…It must have something to do with blood…why do you think it is?O.K. off to the post office and back to the hospital now…

Mimi Torchia Boothby Watercolors said…For such a young person, you sure have a heavy burden. Good luck to you. I’m mimitabby from swapbot. take careSamantha said…I admire you greatly. You are such a strong young lady and your faith makes it so. Sending prayers your way!Samantha (Flutterflies22-Swapbot)