Just Tell Me what to Do!

I am having a rough week…physically I ACHE…my muscles ache/hurt, and I can’t sleep enough! I had a Doctor’s appointment today and he said one of my numbers were lower and that is why I am feeling so crummy…He gave me the options of getting a blood transfusion or getting a Procrit shot (once a week for 4 weeks)…The transfusion sounds like such a dramatic step so I am opting for the shots…from what I understand the transfusion would be an instant way of feeling better and the shots are going to be more subtle and take longer to see an improvement…I will get the first shot on Friday while I am there for chemo…Honestly, I’m super annoyed with the doctor I saw today…it was not my regular oncologist (whom I love) and I feel like this doctor did not explain my options well to me, and I really don’t like it that he gave me a choice…I just want to be told what to do…I tried to get him to tell me what he recommended and he was just so wishy washy…I hate it that the first time my numbers are lower and I’m feeling really bad I don’t get to see my regular doctor (who I know would have been more decisive)…I was already anxious and to ask me to make that choice in two seconds was overwhelming…I also found out that radiation does not usually start until 4 or 5 weeks AFTER the last chemo treatment…this is news to me…I was talking to the nurse asking her how long after chemo treatments do I stop feeling SO tired and she said, it could take months to really get back to feeling normal (not that I have any idea what normal feels like anymore)…I also asked her what the effects of 4 weeks of radiation will be…when I had it before it was only for a week so I don’t think I really had any side effects…she said that the main thing people say is that radiation makes you really fatigued …GREAT!just want I wanted to hear…I am feeling anxious, crabby, tired (my sleep schedule is COMPLETELY messed up), hurting, achy, lonely, and defeated…

Andrea said…April, you may have heard this before, but I could totally see you writing a book about your life. I would read it.Robynn’s Ravings said…I’m glad you come here and pour out your true feelings so that those who care know how to pray. It’s also just good to know this is YOUR forum – and this is what it’s here for. Sometimes I begin to think I write for others and I try to remind myself that I began the blog to write. Period. I AM sorry that you are having such a rough time and your regular doc wasn’t able to be there right now. I’m heading to bed and I’ll be praying for better sleep for you as you walk through this long journey. But don’t forget to turn around and look behind you at how far you’ve come and how much has gone by. You’ve done an amazing job in your travels here. Sometimes when it’s hard to look ahead at the road and wonder how you’ll get through, it’s good just to turn around and look behind you. That’s your hard work laying behind you. Those are your successes.Love you, my young friend,RobynnSusanD said…Hey April. The Procrit shots work. They helped me a lot. When my blood counts were low, I automatically felt more tired than usual. The shots helped my body produce more red blood cells counteracting the anemic feeling. Radiation did not make me feel any more tired than I already felt from the effects of the chemo. Hang in there. You’re almost done with the treatments. Praying here……for you there. Blessings, SusanDRobin said…Sending lots of good, healing and energetic energies your way. I hope the shots will help.Thinking of you and sending hugs!Robinchocololicknits said…Just wanted to say, hope you get well soon and best wishes for your treatments. Sounds like an ordeal to go through, and I can’t imagine.Lily Lestrange said…From reading your blog April, you seem like such a strong and determined person. I have faith that you’ll get better soon! I can’t fathom what life must be like for you right now but I hope you can still enjoy every day as it comes! A great quote I love is this: “Everything will be ok in the end, if it’s not ok then it’s not the end”. Terrible things happen to the best of people, but the best of people never give up without a fight! 🙂 Lily ♥Amy said…April,I’m sorry you are feeling crummy 🙁 Maybe this will cheer you up! I saw a pretty scrapbook paper with birds on it and thought it was so pretty that I got one for you and me both! I can’t wait to give it to you!AmyFabi said…April, I came here because of swap-bot Blog me Baby (my nickname there is BubbLeGumGirLie).I have to say, that I will send you all my thoughts and a lot of strenght. I hope you will feel better soon.*virtual.hug*