I’m losing my sense of humor

Finally home from the hospital…was told I was being discharged around 12:30 but didn’t get home until 4:00…We had to go and pick up LOADS of medicine and medical supplies, after finding out the cost, I kinda freaked out… Wednesday at 10:30 is the meeting with Medicaid, I actually do not have to go to it, the women from the claim aid office at the hospital goes, and I am not sure I will feel up to going anyway…Please keep that in your prayers because I just don’t know what the next step is if we don’t get that. They are expediting the process because of the diagnosis of cancer, so it should not take 90 days to find out…everyone seems to think I qualify, but today I am having a hard time having to wait…One great thing is that if approved the coverage goes back three months so that will be great to have the doctors re-bill through Medicaid and to redo the prescriptions… Physically: I am exhausted…I slept from 5pm-9pm today and am off to bed again soon…I took a shower and that zapped me of ALL energy…my stomach has not been happy for over three days…I have to learn when to take the anti-nausea medicine in relation to meals…I have been surprise by how quickly my relationship with food has changed…I simply don’t want to eat anything, EVER, just reading the menu at the hospital made me sick…I ate some toast a little over an hour ago and it did not stay…I hate not knowing how long this feeling will last after chemo, the doctor said that most times it is three days but it seems to be lasting longer for me…he also said that the first time is probably the worst so maybe that is good…I got NO rest in the hospital they are waking you up every three hours for something, I can’t tell you how many people I met and that took care of me…unfortunately for the next two months I will have to be woken up at 5:30 every morning by mom to flush my PICC line, it has to be flushed every 12 hours and because of where it is I can’t do it myself…maybe I will learn to sleep through it…Tomorrow my goal is to unpack…and to get my medicines in order (that will be a task in and of its self for sure) Mentally: is a whole different post, maybe I’ll write about that tomorrow…

Michelle said…Hi. I just wanted you to know that I’m thinking of you. I’m DarbyFlats on Swap-bot. Please do something to SMILE today. Your sense of humor is wonderful and, by golly, it should stay that way! With love, MichelleRobin said…Just a quick note to say hi and to let you know I’m thinking about you. I know I say that often, but I do think of you all the time and am hoping and praying for the best.I’m glad you are home. I hope you can get some rest. Things will look better once you get some strength back.Please let me know if you need anything. I”m happy to help where I can.Hugs!Joni said…Hang in there April….Kankakee County is rooting for ya!!! Love reading your blogs…thanks for taking the time to update us…I know your writing is very therapeutic for you, so keep it up!! Sending many happy tbougbts your way!Blair said…So glad that you are finally home, April! Sounds like you have a long road ahead, but I know you are brave enough and strong enough to beat it! I’m praying that you will have some good days ahead in the very near future. I’m sure it’s hard right now with it being the first time, but it’ll get better! I know it will!*Big hugs!!*nermalski said…I am glad you are home. I have heard it is rough, as my one friend said “I hid in my closet and cried on chemo days”.Well if that’s what it takes. She has survived for 13 years now.I will say that I’m keeping you in my prayers and sending you hugs. New on swapbot but there are lots of gals sending you warm fuzzies for better days ahead and looks like you’ve got a great group of gals if you need a shoulder or an ear.Get your rest and take it easy.JEss (nermalski) Robynn’s Ravings said…Oh April, I just did a dramatic exhale when I looked at all your meds and what you have to handle. Your road is NOT an easy one, my love. I’m so sorry about the nausea and exhaustion and sorry that you have to worry about your insurance on top of it all.Keeping you in my prayers and you don’t have to be funny all the time. This from a woman who uses humor as a vital part of my armor. On my non-funny days I sometimes come out and write something different or I give myself permission to go and hide. I think I speak for most of us when I say, we’ll take you any way you feel.Love to you,RobynnMelissa Flick said…Hey Aprilie–So I’ve got a funny story…AND it’s about a BIRD!! =)At work we have tinted windows and a little window sill that goes around them outside. We have had a variety of animals come visit us on our little sill… including chipmunks and squirrels and lately a bird… a very cute little robin (well actually he is quite a large robin) we will call Joe. Now Joe, well we believe Joe may very well be in love— for he not only sees himself in the windows and LOVEs what he sees but he also finds it amusing to peck at our window and THEN finds it hillarious to try to fly into the window to meet that handsome stranger in glass. It really is a sad affair, but he keeps us giggling at his tantics.When he gets too fiesty, I do go scare him away… no sense letting him hurt himself right?I have really no idea why I shared my little Joe story with you other than he’s a bird and I know you love birds and I hope maybe for a minute or sec you smiled!Hope you are finding some time to rest today.MelAonymous said…Hello April,Here are some special wishes coming to you from England. Keep your pecker up, honey. it’s a hard call but YOU ARE DOING SOOOO BRILLIANTLY. Just rest and set yourself reachable targets, thinking of you.Love Kate (katiewoo)Sue said…Hi April, I wrote to you a couple weeks ago on swap-bot through the Cheap Postage Group Wishlist thingy. I have been following your blog and just want you to know that I will pray for you and that all your medicaid goes through quickly and that you can feel relief about the medical bills, and relief from the nausea very soon! Being sleep deprived from hospital stays is very difficult mentally on top of everything else you are going through, so I hope you will get lots of peaceful sleep and let your body regenerate from the chems it has just been shocked with. You will get through this, there will be lots of different emotions for sure, but you WILL see the sunshine again!! Hugs, Sue (crescendo on swap-bot)iluvdandelions said…Hi April! I’m glad you’re home!! You’re in my thoughts and prayers, sweetie. I noticed that ‘Holmes on Homes’ was on tv in the hospital. He is such a hottie! Wish I could get him to work on my house – hee hee!!!Rest well and know that you are loved! Hugs, DeAnne (Your postcard tag friend in Oregon /A Few of My Favorite Things Group on Swap-bot)Carole said…Yay! April’s home where she can finally rest!!Thanks for taking the time to update your blog so that all of us who are rooting for you stay in the loop. I know it must sap a lot of energy to do that.For now, rest as much as you can so that your body and the chemo meds can do their jobs. We will keep sending you lots of hugs and healing thoughts.CarrieZee4smartmonkeys said…Hi ya April! I’m glad you are home. I hope you get your appetite back and can get some much needed sleep. I’m Rebecca from swap-bot, aka 4smartmonkeys. That’s how I heard what’s going on, and we may not have met, but you seem like such a wonderful person. I will keep you in my thoughts. Keep smiling!Anonymous said…Hi April,I’m so sorry to hear of your diagnosis. I’ve never met you in person, but I wanted to let you know I’ll be praying for you. We’ve been through the horribleness that is cancer (pancreatic) with my mom this past year. I don’t envy you the difficulty of this journey. 2 Corinthians started to make a lot of sense to us! I wanted to pass along the title of a book we found helpful (and empowering!) — it’s Anticancer by Dr. David Servan-Schreiber, and it should be all over the book stores. Hang in there,Stephanie(StephL on Swap-Bot)Ladydy5 aka: Diane Yates said…There are a lot of friends you have here and even more on swap-bot. Reading your blog I am amazed at the humor and openness of it. You just keep the faith my dear and prayers are going up for you all the time. To see all that you are going through makes the little frets we have so small compared to the way you are handling this situation.