I am feeling,

This afternoon was my second appointment with the oncologist (Dr. M). The pathologist report was not done so there is no actual diagnosis. The Dr. said they are pretty sure it is a lymphoma and that he spoke to the person reading my labs and that they will be for sure done by my appointment with him Tuesday afternoon…I will be starting chemotherapy next week (I don’t know which day)…Dr. M said that he may admit me to the hospital for a day or two when chemotherapy is started so that he can make sure I have enough fluids…The CT Scan of my abdomen and pelvis showed some enlarged lymph nodes in my stomach but nothing going farther down (so there is some good news)…According to the scales in both the radiation department and the oncologists office I have lost 4lbs since Monday…I don’t know if I was weighed at a different time of day or what…I have had less of an appetite and have been drinking A LOT less soda…for some reason that rapid loss in weight really scares me…to date I have lost a little over 15lb…I will not be going to work next week.Yesterday I between radiation and my CT Scan, I had a meeting with a women from Claim Aid…she is a representative that works at the hospital and helps people apply for Medicaid and state assistance…things went well, we will not know for a couple of months unless I get a diagnosis that would allow us to ask for an expedited approval process…A couple of weeks ago I applied for aid from the hospital, and while I have not heard anything ‘official’ the women that was helping me with the Claim Aid said she heard the other women who does the hospital assistance program say that I was approved for assistance, we don’t know how much it is but it doesn’t matter…so approved or not from the state I am able to stop looking at all these machines I’m going in as HUGE dollar signs…what a weight lifted! Today: I had my 4th radiation treatment and the appointment with my oncologist…I have been coughing quite a bit…but no blood though so that is great! Friday: I get my 5th radiation treatment Weekend: I get off to process…and I need it! Monday: I get my 6th radiation treatment, and a bone marrow biopsy from my pelvis…along with some lab work…also I am to get a lung and heart test to get a starting level of where I am before chemo is started. Tuesday: I get my 7th radiation treatment…and my 3rd official appointment with Dr. M that will hopefully give us some certainty in diagnosis about which lymphoma it is…I don’t think they would be starting chemo and all this other junk if they weren’t sure, but I would like to be able to say with certainty.I HAVE CANCER…I feel like there would be some freedom in that, does that make sense?I am…OVERWHELMED

Jennifer Bowman said…April,I wish I had something wise to say to you, but I’m sorry I don’t. All I can say is that I am praying for you daily and I am sending you hugs. If you ever need to talk I’m listening!!Love, Jen BowmanJoni Kamstra said…Hang in there April….I know this is a very overwhelming time for you! Trust your doctors and God….they will get you through this difficult time….((((hugs))))Robynn’s Ravings said…Sweet April, I’m so very sorry you’re facing all these machines and pokes and prods and not officially having your diagnosis yet. What a LOT to be up against. But God is bigger and he sees you. Please rest this weekend and, as you say, process. Let people help you and help your mom. You can neither one do it all.You will be in my prayers for a FULL recovery. Your attitude is amazing.Love,RobynnAmy Price said…Thanks for the update, April. You are a strong woman of God and I am very inspired by you! We will be praying!Zapolski Family said…April-You are continually in my prayers and thoughts. I just found out last week that my dad has cancer and that another friend has cancer. I have never known anyone with it before and can’t imagine what you have been feeling. It’s good to know that we worship a God that has a plan for us and who truly loves and cares for us. I wish you the best throughout this journey that you are on. God bless!-HeidiMolly Stroud said…Hey darlin~It was good talking to you yesterday. I said prayers for you this morning in my quite time. I know this sounds absurd, but I am praying that this will be the best thing that ever happened to you and that you will be able to look back and say “thank you God for allowing me to go through that because if I hadn’t I wouldn’t be where I am today. I’m sure you already know this, but God really does work EVERYTHING for good….. even cancer. I love you!Anonymous said…Hi April,I know you from Crafting Queens. Just wanted to let you know I’m thinking of you and wishing you WELL!~Karlyn