As I Held Her I Prayed…

We are 40% funded for “Change in Perspective” bags…click here to see how you can help give hope, and permission to dream for the future to patients receiving chemotherapy…the campaign is open until Nov 24th…

Job search update: slow goings here…there are almost no full time positions to apply for…everything is part-time or I get interview, it goes well, and the company tells me “you are over qualified” “you will leave as soon as you find a better paying position” (all jobs are between 8.50-10.00 an hour…I try dissuade that but they have their minds made up before they even talk to me…it feels like I am sinking in quick sand and it is about up to my chin…

I am missing my former job and thought I would re-post something that I wrote the first week there…We were in a home with three children and their mother, the home was dirty, there were parenting concerns, and possible allegations of sexual abuse by a former boyfriend toward the children…

I heard a little voice say “up”…

gladly I lifted her little two year old body into my arms…

she held on tight and I started to sway…

she played with my necklace, jabbering about it being ‘pretty’, and I filed it away to try and remember to bring her a ‘pretty’ all her own…

we exchanged smiles and raspberry kisses on the cheek…

adjusting herself from my right hip so that both her hands were around my neck, she snuggled in tight and laid her head on my shoulder…

I kissed her hair and still swaying hummed into her ear…

closing my eyes, I TRIED…

I TRIED to keep the tears from falling…

as I held her I prayed…

Jesus…

protect her…

fill this room…

surround it with your angels…

keep Satan and his demons away…

protect her mind…

protect her heart…

as she grows Father, heal the scars inflicted on her at such an earlier age…

calm her heart…

erase her fears…

let my arms be YOUR arms…

my eyes be YOUR eyes…

my words be YOUR words…

and my broken heart be YOUR broken heart…

change the atmosphere of this house Father…

change the atmosphere of this house, from one of chaos to one of calm…

Jesus…

Jesus…

Jesus…

As I held her…

Jesus held me…

It was the most calming 10 minutes of my day…

Carelessly,

April