Friday night wind-down

(disclaimer; this is a bit of a long post)It is Friday night and I am hanging out in my hospital room watching T.V…I am getting tired, and hope to be able to sleep well tonight…I slept better last night than the first so maybe it will get easier these next three nights…The Dr. confirmed that I will be here for sure until Monday…I didn’t get around to writing a post last night so I will start with Thursday… It was a LONG day, after a crappy night of sleep I was up early for breakfast and a shower…Carla came to be with me for a few hours and got to go with me to the cancer center for the beginning of my 9hrs of chemo treatment…They give it to you in two days the first time so that they can monitor you closely and make sure you are tolerating it well…My blood pressure was taken at least 25 times when I was there and toward the end we had to really slow the meds because my pressure was rising and I was getting really hot…After the 9hrs in the center I came back to my room just in time to meet my mom and her friends for a little visit before they went out to dinner…Mom brought me a ham pizza from Papa Johns I’d been craving for days…it was nice to have a little visit from them…and see my mama…Then I had a better (still not good) nights sleep…Friday…Today I opened up facebook and saw that my friend Danielle was wearing this green headband in honor of me today at her work…she said that they had been celebrating cancer awareness for a month and sold different colored headbands to represent the different kinds of cancer…how cool is it that lymphoma is LIME green?…SO ME! I never even thought of lymphoma having a color, I just knew pink was breast cancer…Thanks Danielle for thinking of me, it really meant a lot to me today After breakfast, I was taken back to the cancer center for the second and more potent part of the chemotherapy treatment…I had been ready for another 9hr day and was so surprised when they said that today’s treatment was only going to be 2hrs…Today has been the hardest for me so far, because I was getting the medicine that WILL make my hair fall out…There was no turning back and I was terrified…The nurses are great and really helped me through my little breakdown…after calming down we went over what is going to happen as I lose my hair and then had a little party trying on wigs, scarfs, and hats…the wigs were horrible, I mean truly bad! To be fair they were not that great quality and if I went to a wig shop I am sure I might feel differently but as of today I’m thinking I am going to be a scarf and hat girl…my favorite hat so far is called the newsboy style (pictured below) (but I won’t know really until all my hair is gone) I am excited about scarves because I can make my own, and they are inexpensive, I am just scared I am not going to be able to learn how to tie them so they stay ON… I spent the afternoon, napping and restingMy first visitors of the night were Jerry and Joyce, my friends parents (and two people I consider my family) it was nice to see them and spend a little time talking. As they were leaving Amanda and Caleb brought me some Wendy’s and the Sherlock Holmes movie that we watched together…during that time mom came and watched the movie with us…toward the end of the movie Carla and Ashley came on their way out of town to say hi and give me a great card…I’m so glad they all took time out of their Friday to come and hug and love me…Mom brought me my mail and in it was a letter from Medicaid saying that my eligibility meeting is set for this coming Wednesday at 10:30 a.m…We are AMAZED at how quickly this happened…I JUST got the diagnosis of cancer on Tuesday and I guess since it is cancer they expedite the process but who would think it would be that Expedited! I’m not complaining but…WOW!I continue to be a bit overwhelmed at the generosity of those in my and moms lives…Her co-workers and bosses gave us a generous gift today that will help us breathe for longer than we were expecting to be able to yesterday…this week there have been other unexpected, and wonderful ways God is literally acting out Matthew 6:26 in my life…he is saying, this is not just a verse from the bible that makes your heart feel good…This is ‘what I do’…I may or may not be cancer free in 6 months…but no matter the outcome, who I am and how I see the world and myself is changing…changing in pretty amazing ways… Lastly… I would like to introduce you to a couple of little birdies in my life…First is my new friend, a little blue bird wind chime that is hanging on my IV stand…On the way to treatment Thursday the nurses noticed another bird I had hanging on my stand and really loved it, they said that they should decorate the center more for the seasons ect…I took that opportunity to let them know the real reason I had the bird on the stand, that it was there to remind me of Matthew 6:26, and they knew exactly what verse I was talking about…about an hour into treatment, the nurse came into my room and said that she and the other nurse had gone to the gift shop and bought me this new little one for my IV stand…I was amazed, they had known me for 2 seconds, and said that I was an inspiration (I don’t understand how, but I do love my new birdie)…it was a really nice thing for them to do on a really scary day… Second I introduce you to my yellow bellied sapsucker, it makes the real bird call (which actually sounds like the wheel of fortune wheel clicking) this was sent to me a couple of months ago from a wonderful lady on the swapping website I participate in, and has been PERFECT for holding during chemo…it is small enough to hold in one hand and the shape is perfect for mindless rubbing to soothe my nerves… Well, I think that is enough information for now yeah?*Thank you for sharing in this journey with me, you have no idea what a lifeline blogging and facebook has been while here in the hospital and I am sure will continue to be the next six months to a year…I feel like the last few weeks (last few months really) have been so focused on me and am ready for the time when this will be WHAT IT IS and I can engage more in the lives of others around me…Until Later!

Robynn’s Ravings said…What a GREAT informative post, April, and especially helpful to those of us so far away from you. It did my heart good, and helped ME to see answered prayer, too. I’m truly glad you have had sweet visitors, food you like, and a medical staff who sees you as a dear person and not just one more patient to treat. LOVE the bird they got you. 🙂 And the one to hold is looks just perfect.I know you’ll figure out the hair thing but I’m sorry it is so hard to walk through. We’re GIRLS. We like HAIR! I’m praying for you, of course, and have shared your story with some of my praying friends. You are on my mind a lot. Love,RobynnRobin said…Hey! I’m so glad to read your blog today. Things seem to be going okay, allbeit still scary. You’ve been on my mind so much. Your two new birdies are lovely! I have two new birds, too. I’ll tell you about them in my letter to you. I’ll even try to send pics! Hugs to you… lots of good thoughts and well wishes, too!Amazing Grace Portraits said…Thank you April for the update. i have been thinking about you alot this weekend. My cousin who was diagnosed with Breast Cancer this week just had her last treatment Friday. I pray that God will use you in this bump in your journey.Love ya GirlieLiz Angell Bloom