Do you Read…or Scan…

I’m a scanner…when I read, the faster the better…who needs those pesky words like…the, this, that, those, is, a…if I can scan it I can know it…The past few weeks I’ve realized that I am just scanning through life…How quickly can I check my E-mail?It has been a whole five minutes since the last time I checked it why don’t I have something new?When is the mail going to get here?ok the mail is here I’ve ripped it open, what is next?Who has updated their Facebook page?Why do I care?Let me just flip through this magazine and look at the pictures, instead of actually reading the articles.Ok…I’m bored…now what?Seven nights of solitary work…I’m always looking for the next little fix…always wondering why I’m awake when there is nothing happening…no communication, no productivity, no life..and it has become very unsatisfying…very frustrating…it is easy to give up when you feel like you have voiced what you need and it never seems to come…it is disheartening when you feel like God is not listening to the desires of your heart…It is also the perfect environment for depression to make a home…slowly that pesky D moves in little by little by little until it …Read more

Just Tell Me what to Do!

I am having a rough week…physically I ACHE…my muscles ache/hurt, and I can’t sleep enough! I had a Doctor’s appointment today and he said one of my numbers were lower and that is why I am feeling so crummy…He gave me the options of getting a blood transfusion or getting a Procrit shot (once a week for 4 weeks)…The transfusion sounds like such a dramatic step so I am opting for the shots…from what I understand the transfusion would be an instant way of feeling better and the shots are going to be more subtle and take longer to see an improvement…I will get the first shot on Friday while I am there for chemo…Honestly, I’m super annoyed with the doctor I saw today…it was not my regular oncologist (whom I love) and I feel like this doctor did not explain my options well to me, and I really don’t like it that he gave me a choice…I just want to be told what to do…I tried to get him to tell me what he recommended and he was just so wishy washy…I hate it that the first time my numbers are lower and I’m feeling really bad I don’t …Read more

Phenomenal Party

Yesterday was the ‘PHENOMENAL’ party…and it was a success…family from both sides came came along with friends from life and church…Here are some pictures from the afternoon…I did not take as many as I would have liked…I didn’t get any of the jewelry or of just the guests talking…I guess I was too busy having fun…This is Mary, she is an amazing lady from church and she completely made my day by wearing an old wig she has… doesn’t she look amazing?! My cousins…Rachael, Chloe, and Tina My aunt Salome gave me this great frame she made for me…it is the definition of phenomenal…it was just right for the party…she didn’t even know that it was the theme…what fate! I had Lauren read it at the end…it was the perfect end to the presentation… On the way to work the night before the party I decided to make matchboxes as favors to the guests…considering I had less than 24 hours to make them I think they came out really well…I didn’t have time to buy something to put in them so I went through my stash and found just enough bird themed items…then I made little sheets with Matthew 6:26…Lauren who sells …Read more

1 1/2 Months Ahead of Schedule

Come, Celebrate with me!I had my 5th chemo treatment today…but before that I had my regular three week visit with the Doctor…He gave me the results of my scans from this week and let’s just say the news is good…Dr. M said that my results lookedPHENOMENALand that it is almost unbelievable how quickly and completely the lymph nodes have shrunk…The scan of my chest showed almost normal results…and he feels my neck is about the same…in light of this great news I am now 1 1/2 months ahead of schedule…it is anticipated that instead of getting three more chemo treatments…I only need ONEmore,with scans to follow…Dr. M says it is unlikely he will order more chemo after the next scans…we will move forward with four weeks of radiation…I will have to go to radiation everyday Monday thru Friday for four weeks…for those of you that have followed my story from the beginning you know how much I HATE radiation, it is so humiliating…but at least I have almost a month to get mentally prepared…I am trying to wrap my head around the new time frame…I’m big on knowing what to expect and even a change because of GREAT news throws me …Read more