cancer

Approved!

Can I get a WOOT! WOOT!I got the info today that I have been approved for Medicaid…back dated all the way to January 1st 2010…I’m not sure I can explain what a weight this has lifted off of me…I feel like I can breathe and in my head move on to more important things… The CRAZY amount of money we have spent on prescriptions the past six months will be reimbursed, minus the small co-pay for each…once I have documentation it will be between 4 and 8 weeks before we get it from each pharmacy…*it will be a huge blessing, there is one doctor I’ve seen that does not take Medicaid so I will be able to pay them off and use the rest to give to mom for living expenses…I have been unable to contribute the past couple of pay periods…*Having had a hard time finding positive things to be thankful for, as of late, and knowing that this is a mind frame that I desperately want to change…starting today, with any post, I am going to TRY to find 5 things to be thankful for or that make me happy…*#1. Approval of Medicaid#2. I made waffles for breakfast#3. I have more energy today than expected (yea! …Read more

A Tough Week and Chemo #3

It is Sunday, and I had my 3rd chemo treatment on Friday…3 down 5 to go…ALMOST halfway…physically I am bone tired, and just a little sick…mentally I am in a much better place than I was earlier this week…Thank God…while feeling is sometimes hard and has been a lot painful, it is the only way to get to the other side…  I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.                                -Mother TeresaThis week has been tough…anxiety high…I miss my hair…energy drained… resentful/bitter/numb…hard to find a positive…let satan win, kind of week…which resulted in…Thursday morning making my first “call for help”…after my third ‘breakdown’ of the week, I asked if my pastor’s wife could come over and just sit with me…she did…she came into my dark bedroom, and sat next to my bed and was just there…I really needed it…I should have made a call like that sooner, but I haven’t, it is scary, it is vulnerable …I own having the destructive habit of silent expectations…the worst being, if my needs are not met by the people in my life that say they love me it means that I am not worthy of …Read more

I am no longer a…

SURGERY VIRGIN I am now the proud owner of a port-a-cath 800z, the best port in the showroom, all the other cancer patients will be jealous (O.K. I confess there are not models of ports but it sounded fun yeah?)…the surgery took around an hour and I guess they had a little trouble placing it, and had to take a layer of fat out to get it to sit right…I am super sore, and have been told I can’t lift my arm much for the next two weeks (the port needs to settle and get embedded really well, because I can end up having it for a long time)…the problem with this is that the port is on my left side and I am left handed…so I must be vigilant and ask for help even when I want to do it myself…thank God I have a mom who will help me when I ask, without making me feel bad for doing it…She rocks my socks some days :)I am faithfully taking my pain medication and will take it for as long as I need…I used to be really scared to take prescription pain killers because my father was addicted to them …Read more

Blessed…

First let me say how happy I am about my new blog design…I think it looks fresh, and modern…I hope you enjoy it as much as I do…I spent most of the afternoon trying to make it right…it was a free template from this website, but there were a lot of corrections I had to figure out how to make through the comments section of their posts…while I am IN LOVE with some of the blog templates on their site, it is not the most user friendly…This was a good way to spend my afternoon, because if I do much of anything I feel really lightheaded…not sure what is going on…after my angry post I decided that I needed to not work the rest of this week…I felt good about that choice, and with the new lightheadedness I am confident it was the right decision…NOW…for the real reason of this post…To proclaim some ways I am being blessed… Last Saturday I received another box of LOVE from some great members ofSwap-Bot…36 members to be exact…I got some amazing handmade items (cross-stitch, embroidery, a necklace,hats, a painting, other art, a beautiful pouch…and, and, and)…wonderful cards…and blessed with a really encouraging letter from a lady who has been …Read more