cancer

Powerful…

Powerful is one word to describe my experience this morning at the hospital…but we will get to that in a moment because another word to describe my experience would be frustratingFirst, I’m unsure why they require you to come in 30 min before your appointment for the soul purpose of waiting in their waiting room, maybe they believe they will be ahead of schedule…then when you get in the dressing room they don’t have your size of gown (which the nurse tried to call “misfiling” maybe if this wasn’t the first time this has happened…) so now you have waited a half an hour AND you are half naked walking down the hall trying to cover your backside with a robe…once in the CT scan room, they ask you ALL the same questions they asked yesterday on the phone…Then they try twice, unsuccessfully, to start an IV (which really hurt by the way) before realizing they can access my port and have someone from oncology come down and stick me there which is way less painful and much more successful…Once laying down on the CT machine the MALE technician asks you to scoot down toward your feet…Sure sir let me go ahead …Read more

Random Thoughts…

I’m feeling anxious…It is chemo week which always comes with some kind of anxiety…but this week there is more…This morning I am getting a CT scan of my chest/abdomen and Thursday morning I am getting another CT scan of my neck…I think maybe I am nervous about getting the results…it is obvious from the outside that the masses in my neck have shrank considerably but who knows what is going on inside…Friday morning before chemo I have an appointment with the doctor and am assuming I will get the results of these scans then…I’m also working this week (Mon-Thurs) and am becoming more discontented by the hour…yesterday, for the first time in a year I looked at the want ads in the paper…there were only like 10 and either I did not qualify or they would be a lateral move…I don’t want to change jobs until I am done with chemo so I guess I have some time to figure out what I can do…I have an idea of what I want to do, but wanting to, and being able to do something are two different things…I can’t get a job that is not available…I need some motivation!Cause I got …Read more

A Day Out, Chemo #4, Mail

Yesterday Amanda, Norma, and I took a little trip to Evansville…Amanda needed art supplies, Norma had a few errands to run and I was along just to get out of the house and soak up some sunshine… Here we are at McDonalds enjoying some ice cream before our last stop of the day… Here I am sporting my blonde wig.. I have to say that I like it MUCH better than the reddish/brown one…I could not believe how much cooler it was than wearing a scarf or a hat…I wore it our whole trip and it didn’t bother me too much…so I think I might wear this and wait until I can see the wig person before attempting the darker one again…Also yesterday was  a pretty good mail day…I got a great pen pal letter from Robin, a funny card and puzzle from a swap-bot friend who has taken it upon herself to be a chemo angel to me (THANK YOU sara!) andI got a big box of hats one of my former co-workers Julie made for me…She sent some hats, and scarves (one I turned into a headband and wore yesterday with my wig) and a couple of headband things…I’m not …Read more

Wigs…Yes? No? Maybe?…hmmmmm

Monday morning I got off work at 7am came home and made myself stay awake until 10am because I was going to a seminar called “Look Good Feel Better” at the cancer center… It was fun, we got a bag full of donated make-up items…there was someone there who went through the proper ways to put on make-up…I was the youngest one by far and it was fun to watch the older women try to figure out how to use the make-up… Doesn’t this wig look amazing on her? it looks so real, she is as bald as I am and with that on you would never tell…I did not find a wig that looked that natural on me…also her eyebrows are drawn on because she has lost her eyebrows (something I am not looking forward too, and hoping doesn’t happen) here I am beautified! After being all made up it was time for some fun trying on wigs…first I did red… I don’t like this picture AT ALL and have decided that I am going to wait until I can take the wigs to a wig shop and have them trimmed to better fit my style and can be taught …Read more